How to Build Quality Friendships

Sometimes we are attracted to people who would not build or strengthen our character or our walk with God. For this reason, it is very important that we put a lot of thought and prayer into choosing our friends. 

God puts people into our lives that we are primarily called to serve. This does not necessarily mean that they are called to be our friends. A quality friendship occurs when the people involved receive support, encouragement and refreshment from each other. It is not the kind of relationship where one person is always giving and the other always receiving. The rest of this talk will center on the aspects of quality friendships and how they can be developed. 

Look for people who are sincere in their thoughts and actions. Our world is full of insincerity. We are being hustled and conned in a world that is in love with power and money. It uses half-baked truths or outright lies to tell us who and what to trust. God uses the insincerity of the world to show us the power of trustworthiness in our lives. Sincerity causes us to take a look at ourselves. It invites us to trust and believe in others. Sincerity asks us to be ourselves during those times when it is easier to be someone or something else. When we are sincere toward people, it encourages them to be sincere toward us as well. 

Be as consistent as you can. Who are the people in our lives who are the most consistent with us? It is reassuring and rewarding when someone does what they told us they were going to do. Many times, we expect people to break their promises to us, and yet, we are still disappointed when they do. 

In order to build an image of ourselves as being valuable, we need to have consistent people in our lives. Consistency allows us to use our talents and abilities to develop stronger relationships with those around us. A consistent person is much more likely to be a good friend than someone who is not. 

Look for people who are hungry for God or seeking out His truth. A person who is hungry for these things will value and respect others who do the same. We will want to develop deeper relationships with this kind of person. God uses hunger for Him to cause people to grow and change. The best friendships are those that can change with the stresses and strains of life. When a friendship does not grow or change, then it begins to die. We need to hunger for friends that will draw us closer to God, because He is our final destination, and He is the only one that can make friendships last. 

Look for people that can laugh with others, and at themselves. Laughter is great medicine; it is a proven medical fact that people heal faster when they are able to laugh. Laughter is a part of God’s tools. It can offer us some blessed reassurance in this tough world. Laughter can strengthen the bonds of friendship because it can remind us that God is with us. It also can remind us of our weakness, but it also gives new strength. The ability to laugh with a person is the cornerstone for a good friendship; it draws us together and teaches us how to celebrate. 

Look for people who can accept you just as you are. A good friend should invite us to change, but not expect us to change. He/she accepts our talents and abilities and encourages us to use and grow in them. A good friend accepts the fact that we may have other friends or interests. He/she accepts our weaknesses while remembering their own. 

A good friend takes time. We all can grow in our ability to have friends and to be a friend; the good news is that Jesus Christ, our perfect friend, has promised us that He will provide for our needs in all of the areas of our lives. 

Look for someone who is willing to pray with you. Prayer helps to unite us and remind us that we all have needs and hurts. Prayer cements friendships by opening our lives to each other and humbling ourselves before God. Prayer causes our hearts and spirits to be knit together even when we are apart. Answered prayer gives us reason to rejoice together and express our thankfulness.