Loneliness

– Acts 8:32-33 The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:
   “He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
      and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,
      so he did not open his mouth.
 In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
      Who can speak of his descendants?
      For his life was taken from the earth.”
– Psalms 38:11 My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds;
       my neighbors stay far away.
– Psalms 102:7 I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.
– John 16:32  “But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.”
– 2 Timothy 4:16 At my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them.
– Psalms 31:11  Because of all my enemies,
       I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
       I am a dread to my friends—
       those who see me on the street flee from me.
– Psalms 38:11  My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.
– Psalms 88:18  You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
the darkness is my closest friend.
– Psalms 142:4 You have taken my companions and loved ones from me;
the darkness is my closest friend.
– Mark 14:48  “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me?”
– Mark 14:50  Then everyone deserted him and fled.
– Luke 15:16  He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
– Luke 16:20  At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores
– Luke 16:21  and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
– John 5:7  “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.“

Inconstancy of Friend
– Job 16:20 ” My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God”
– Job 16:20  My friends treat me with scorn
– Job 19:19  All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me.
– Micah 7:5  Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with her who lies in your embrace be careful of your words.
– 2 Timothy 4:10  for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.
– Matthew 26:56  But this has all taken place that the writings of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples deserted him and fled.
– John 16:32  “But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.“
– 2 Timothy 1:15 You know that everyone in the province of Asia has deserted me, including Phygelus and Hermogenes
– 2 Timothy 4:10  for Demas, because he loved this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.

When we feel lonely, we ask questions, we feel deprived of justice; we ask why don’t people love me?  We feel that this shouldn’t happen to me, or wonder why aren’t people kind to me? God knows we are going to be lonely sometimes because He was also lonely too. Here, He was in the garden praying and asking the Father, “If it is your will, take This from Me Father.” He was literally sweating blood because He was so in anguish and completely alone. All of His disciples had left film, but the Lord still trusted in the Father that He had a plan even for that ultimate loneliness.

God has a plan for loneliness. There is nothing wasted in God’s economy. He wants to use that loneliness in our lives in good ways. Jesus understands what you are going through when your heart is aching with pain and frustration because He went through the same things He lost his Dad for awhile too. He knew that when He took the sins of the world that His Father would turn His face away because it was so ugly and rotten.  That is loneliness. As He hung on the cross for us, He slowly suffocated to death and also felt all alone because everyone had left Him.

Why do we have loneliness? I just want to share some thoughts about that because it is part of life and it comes to everybody. For us to be surprised by loneliness is a foolish thing. God uses the loneliness as a tool in our lives.  It is a reminder to us that we are created to be one with God   

How does loneliness come? It comes from a habit of being self-centered; thinking about and concentrating on ourselves. The more we concentrate on ourselves and the more self-centered we get, the more likely we are to be lonely.  When we are centered upon ourselves, we literally invite loneliness into our lives.

Loneliness is a signal that there is something more to life than just me and what I want to accomplish. We are not to be here forever, we are just passing through. This is not the place where we are going to end up, just a journey to go home and be with our Father. We want rest and not to be tormented by sin and being full of ourselves

Loneliness is a waiting room so that we can be prepared for something better. If we give it to God, our prayer can be, “Lord please use my loneliness in the way that you want to in my life.” Don’t let your loneliness be wasted. When we are lonely, God is saying come closer. God’s heart is always aching for us and wants us as close as we can be. Even though God is perfect and has no needs, He has a sort of loneliness for us that He wants to be with us. An aching heart is a sense of un-fulfillment of wanting to be someplace else or not being in the place where we want to be. We can choose to be with the Lord now.

God uses loneliness to show us that He wants to be the center of our affection and our source of life. God uses our loneliness to say “Hey, I am the one that your heart should be aching for and I am the center of your life.” As you do that you are going to fmd fulfillment like no where else in the whole world. What God is doing is frying to guide us in our loneliness to Him. If I had everything I always wanted, would I need God? Would I pray or talk to Him? God who? When we have a hot car, money in our pocket and a person we love, we don’t need Him. God wants us in our loneliness to make a choice and say. “God I want you.”

Loneliness is a reminder that we need to love God first before ourselves and others. Many times we love ourselves and other people first and then God is down the line at maybe #l 0 or #20. God will not be mocked. He is basically saying I am #1 and I will use your loneliness so that I can be #1. If 1 am not first, you will not have a fulfilled and happy life.

Loneliness leads us to a happier life because it leads us to Jesus. We need to love God first and then we can love everybody else next or our priorities will be all messed up. There is no person on this earth that can meet all your needs. No matter how much we love a person, there is no way we can meet all that person’s needs. There was only one person that was perfect and look what they did to Him.

Loneliness reminds us that God is in charge or that we may need to change something about us. This character trait needs to be changed in your life. God uses that to point to our behaviors and give us a chance to change. God gives us times of intimacy and closeness to encourage us but He will never give us so much that we don’t need Him. He doesn’t want anyone to take His place.

Loneliness comes when we depend on people to save us rather than God. When you depend on relative for money, one day they may run out. When you depend on someone to love you, maybe they are having a bad hair day. Maybe they will anxious, jealous or get in a fight with you. God is so much greater, better and more wonderful that you will be disappointed if you run to people all the time. People ‘will always disappoint you because they are human. Loneliness comes when we put our trust in people rather than God.

Loneliness comes when people fill their lives with things; my car, my house, my clothes. Then we manipulate things to fill our loneliness but it doesn’t work. What we need to do is love God and other people so that our loneliness will go away. If we depend on things, we will be lonely; but if we grow in love, loneliness will start to go away.

Those who make it a habit of giving will be less likely to be lonely than those who have a habit of taking. Are you a giver or a taker? When we give, we move towards fulfillment but when we take, we move towards loneliness. Those who are easily offended and keep score of others behavior are more likely to be lonely. Expectations make you lonely. If you keep score, you lose. When we are lonely, go to God and say, “Lord I need your help and comfort and if you want to send someone else, that will be ok too.” He is a jealous God and loves us more than anyone else can help us. He wants to show Himself to us and say, “I am all that you can ever want, I am all you need, I am lovely and fantastic, and worthy of your trust.          

Having God love us first brings us great joy and strength. When we love God first, he then loves us so that we can give His love away. The scoreboard doesn’t get us anywhere and remember that if we keep score, then we lose.

Loneliness helps us learn to love God so that we can’t wait to be with Him. Ask God to comfort you and be with you. The devil wants to use it to destroy us but God wants to use loneliness to give us life and a deeper walk with Him. I hope that this will help you to understand why God allows loneliness in our lives and what we can do with it.
(Michael Carr, July 19,2003)