Selfishness

Dying to ourselves is not kind of lifestyle that we humans pursue. Scripture, however, has a lot to say about a life of selfishness: 
Psalm 119:36 Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. 
Proverbs 18:1 An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment. 
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 
James 3:14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 
James 3:16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 

Selfishness is a block to our relationship with God. What we need to do is recognize it as our enemy and then deal with it. Selfishness can manifest itself in our lives in many ways. For example, the fruit of the spirit of selfishness leads to the manifestation of self-centeredness. The fruit of the habit of selfishness then leads to the manifestation of looking out only for #1. We become preoccupied with thoughts about ourselves. We are taught by the example of those around us to believe that this is a proper way to relate to other people, and to the world in general. 

The basis of the spirit of selfishness is fear: “This is mine and I better protect it, otherwise it will be taken from me.” It is the fear that God is not going to love us and give us what we need (This can be about possessions). When we are afraid of losing what God has given us, then we are in trouble. It leads us to worship other things, making idols out of them. The gift rather than the Giver becomes more important. The truth is, that if we give of what we have, it will somehow be given back to us. God is generous and the devil is selfish. God gives out of His great unconditional love for us, and the devil gives only to trap us and to make us more selfish. 

It is harder to give than it is to be selfish. It is easier to rationalize that someone else will fill the needs of others, “I don’t want to help Jane, George will do it.” Sometimes this attitude is caused by the fear that we will not do things the right way or do it well enough. 

We are so concerned with our performance that we are paralyzed. When we are afraid to give and share, it creates a hardness around our hearts. When the devil attacks our self-esteem in this way, he is really appealing to our selfishness. He gets us to focus so much on ourselves that we become isolated from others. If selfishness becomes a habit, the only things that we will be left with in the end are ourselves and our belongings. When we allow the devil to bring selfishness into our lives, he also brings emptiness with it. A good example of this is lotto winners. Many times, they spend everything and end up in poverty. 

How do we get to that desperate point? We get there because we listen to what the world would have us believe; that what we can see and touch are the most important things in life. This gives birth to the thought that if we can see and touch something then we can keep it. It may be that we can keep things but we can share love. This is a good way to do a self-assessment of the level of selfishness in our lives; by taking stock of our thoughts about our abilities, thoughts and desires. It is a continuous process of saying to the Lord, Lord, this doesn’t belong to me, but to you. You do whatever You want with my desires, talents, abilities and possessions. Keeping is selfish, sharing is loving. 

The devil wants us to define ourselves by what we own instead of who we are. Instead of defining ourselves by what we have, we can define ourselves by what we can share with others. If I never heard my friend Dave’s laugh again, I would be the lesser for it. My life would not be the same if people did not share their lives with me. As a pastor, I get requests to preside over many special occasions. I participate in these special events, not just because they are part of the job description, but also because they are fun. It is important that people think enough of me to be a part of their lives. 

The rule is that when we are generous with others, then God can push back selfishness in our lives. Then we can be more like Jesus, reaching out to others by sharing His heart. Likewise, if I trapped a bird in my hand and held it there, most people would tell me to let it go so that it could live. This analogy helps to explain what selfishness does in our lives; when we refuse to let go and share what we have, then that very thing will eventually die. 

How, then, do we combat selfishness in our lives? We can do the following things: 
– Ask God to reveal to us when we are being selfish (There is no one kinder about this than our loving Father). 
– Jesus first, others second and yourself last. (JOY)
– Regard selfishness as an enemy; ask God to give us a hatred for being selfish. 
– Ask God to show us others who are generous so that we will be inspired to be the same. 
– Ask God to share His generosity with us, and then to help us share that generosity with those around us.
– After Pentecost, the disciples and other Christians shared all that they had with one another and no one was in need. 
– We can make a daily decision to do at least one unselfish act for someone. 
– Think of Heaven and not your circumstances that may cause you to be dissatisfied. 
– Make love our aim (loving and selfishness are opposites). 
– Make giving a habit in your life and do it again and again. 
– Are our thoughts filled with helping others prosper and succeed? 

What would have happened and where would we be now if Jesus had been selfish with His love? What if He said to His Father, “l don’t think so Dad. They are only going to reject me, and then kill me. No thanks!” Thank God that that is not what happened. We can learn by the example that Jesus set for us that unselfishness is tied to gentleness, kindness and love. 

We can be unselfish because God will empower us to do so if we ask Him. He can change the world through us! No one can out-give God! One of the main reasons for our poverty is our selfishness. His generosity melts our hearts and leads us into a life that is filled with love, joy and peace. St. Francis said, “Lord make me an instrument of your peace.” God meant our lives to be all about Jesus and not about us. 

We will make many choices between selfishness and selflessness. Our daily habits and decisions will paint a portrait of our lives, and the lives of others. Will we show others the riches of Christ or our own selfishness? What will be the quality of life of those we meet? If we want to really know how beautiful and wonderful God is, if we really want to see His face, then we will not allow selfishness to operate in our lives.