That Our Love Would Abound

– Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in Judea, and in Samaria, and to all the ends of the earth.” 
– Luke 4:18,19 The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach the good news to the poor; He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, and the recovery of sight for the blind; to release the oppressed, and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” 
– Philippians 1:8,9 I can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Jesus; and this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more. 

In order to build relationships and have our love abound more and more”, we need to desire the Godly affection of Christ Jesus, an affection that is the pure and perfect love of God. When we have the pure and perfect love of God in our relationships then Jesus is exactly in the place that He is supposed to be; right in the center. You see, it is not just you loving me and me loving you; it is Jesus in me loving you, and Jesus in you loving me. The more Jesus that we have in our relationships, the more power and life we have. 

There are powerful things that we can do to build existing relationships. At this point, we may want to ask ourselves if we are willing to go the extra mile with someone. Many times, we do not spend enough time just being with someone. People need different things at different times; the only way that we will know what they need is to put in the time with them. 

Sometimes we will need to run with them, other times walk, and even to sit. Whichever it is, let us do it with the godly affection of Christ Jesus. He will make our relationships into what He wants them to be. His power will come into our relationships and transform our lives. 

Some of the enemies of relationships are feelings of inadequacy, anger, and unforgiveness. Some “power words’ that are tools in building spirit filled relationships are persistence, prayer, and forgiveness. Keeping these in mind, I would like to discuss some of the pit falls, or enemies, of relationships which are jealousy, resentment, bitterness, and fear. 

Jealousy 
Jealousy destroys relationships. How many times have we said (or thought)? 
– “He/She has more money than I do.’ 
– “She is prettier than I am. 
– “She has the guy that I want’ or “He has the woman that I want.” 
– “They are better friends with that person than l am” 
– “My pastor must like him/her better than me.” 

Jealousy is a very serious enemy; it cuts off the lifeblood of relationships. The prayer of Christ (unity) is the lifeblood of our relationships. The promises of Christ are the skeleton, the persistence of Christ is the muscle and the security of Christ is the heart and the prayer of Christ is the lifeblood. Where there is purity, there is no room for jealousy. It gives the love of God a chance to live. 

Resentment 
This enemy of relationships can manifest itself as directed toward God or toward others. Does this sound familiar? “Well God, you did not take care of this situation in the way that I expected. I asked You to do a certain thing for me, and You did the opposite. Now the situation has worsened. We push away the very person who can help us. We strain our relationship with God when we become resentful towards Him. 

Sometimes resentment manifests itself in our disappointment with others. This could happen when someone does not follow through and do what they say they will do. If we are not careful, our resentment may lead into bitterness. We need to go to God, repent of our attitude, and ask him for the strength to change our hearts. 

Bitterness 
We can be bitter from the things that have happened in our past or even bitter towards ourselves. It follows, then, that if we are bitter toward ourselves it will be difficult to be able to be a friend to those around us. (We are occupied with being bitter). We are plagued by thoughts that will not allow us to even begin a relationship with someone because “I am not good enough.” We also think, ‘Life has given me too hard of a blow.” Jealousy, resentment, and bitterness are all poisons that attack the heart of purity that God would have for us in our relationships. 

Fear 
How many times have we let fear get in the way of having a relationship with someone? Are we afraid to reveal ourselves to others? Are we afraid that if they get to know who we really are that they will not want to be our friend? Fear causes isolation; and where there is isolation there can be no deep relationship. 

When we are afraid to do what God asks of us, we are being disobedient. This could be something as simple as not calling someone when you feel God prompting you to do so. This is one of the ways fear can destroy love. The following words are more “power words that will help to combat these enemies of relationships. 

Agape 
Agape is the love that everyone wants, but we can never seem to get enough. We can be so busy desiring that we have it, that we do not consider the people around us. Agape love is God’s unconditional love and affection that enables us to forgive others and ourselves. 

Before we can extend agape love with someone else, we need to experience that same love ourselves. I once heard a minister say in his sermon that we are all ‘bozos on the bus”. I think that for the most part this is true. However, we need to be able to say, “I forgive myself because God forgives me.” It is no coincidence, then, that the majority of the beginnings of relationships start with us first reaching out to others. It can be so easy to see the faults in others, blaming them for the lack of a good relationship. 

Affirmation 
To affirm someone means to believe in and accept a person for who they are. It is also to be honest and present ourselves (as best as we can) to one another. It is declaring that we are sons and daughters of God. The key is to find something in a person that is like Jesus, and then to tell them; “I am so glad that God made you this way! When you pray for me, I can really sense the presence of God.” 

Jesus affirms us to the Father constantly. He is there, interceding for us. If we could hear the prayers that Jesus speaks on our behalf, it may sound something like this, “Look and have mercy upon them, Father. They are Your own sons and daughters. Look at what my blood did for them. They are going to be with You forever” If we want to be more like Jesus, then we should be looking to Him as our example and imitating Him. 

What happens, then, when we do not affirm one another? The result is that people are robbed of something that is essential to their spiritual well-being. They look to fill that empty space with other addictions or things. 

If God is leading you to affirm and share His love with someone, please share it, for the sake of Jesus. I wish that I could tell you of how many times, in my 40 years as a counselor, people have come to me and said, “If I only would have told them how I really felt.” or ‘If I only would have shared my love with them.” They sit there, shaking and crying, because they missed their chance. They missed their chance of expressing and sharing the love of Jesus. I hope that no one has to experience this for himself or herself. When you do not affirm someone in effect, you are turning your back on him or her and on Jesus. 

There was a man living in Detroit who rode the bus daily. On this particular day, he had decided that he was going to commit suicide. While he was sitting there, an elderly woman turned to him, gave him a big smile, and said, ‘How are you doing today? Are you all right? Then the man started sobbing, because someone cared about him. Now that is a life-changing affirmation! You may never know how much good that does for a person. 

Affection 
Affection is the art of showing love to one another. When we show affection, we are sharing a part of God’s love. We are actually adding something more to that person’s life. A lot of us are spiritually and emotionally starved from lack of love in our lives. We want to get love and affection, but are not willing to risk giving it ourselves. We end up starving the purposes of God in our lives. Are we a starving people? 

If so, we can ask God to help us show His love to others in many ways by sending someone a card or letter, making a phone call, giving a hug or smile. If we feel like “love-skeletons”, then building others up in love is a good step to putting some muscle (love) on our bones. 

We all need love on our skeletons; when we love one another with the holy and pure love of God, we will soon be fat cats. Satan has come to rob, steal, and destroy the love of God in our lives. God, however, has given us soft hearts and living flesh on our bones. This is a reason for us to celebrate and dance with joy! 

The point that I am illustrating, is that affection is a living thing. It is the expression of God’s love. When we reach out with the love and holy affection of God, we are experiencing the pulse of God’s heart. 

Appreciation 
Appreciation is understanding and acknowledging of what others do for us; walking in their shoes. Sometimes we can appreciate what others do by actually putting ourselves in their situation. Do we know what it is like to: be a student, work at a job where no one pays any attention to you, sit in a room alone or wait for someone to understand? 

Appreciation is taking the time to try to understand what someone else is going through. It is asking God for His heart so that we stop thinking about only ourselves. The times when I have felt the worst about myself, have been the same times that God gave me the courage I needed to reach out and love someone. I forgot some of my pain because I was able to appreciate what that person was going through. Many times, it was even worse than my own situation. 

Knowing 
One of the results of walking in someone else’s shoes and getting to know them is that we begin to need them. The more we know, the more we learn what we need. The focus of all our relationships is to be like Jesus. It makes sense, then, to the extent to which we know and love Jesus, is the extent that we will know and love other people. We cry out, “I want to know You Lord!” However, are we willing to spend the time with Him that this requires? If we truly want to have intimate, knowing, relationships with others, then we need to look at our relationship with God. 

Needing 
When we allow ourselves to need someone, we open our hearts to receive the love of God and others. It can be scary to do this, because there is always the possibility that they will say no. However, what if they say, “Yes, I need you to.” or “Thank you!” Needing is the gateway to our hearts. It is when we do not allow ourselves to need that we close off the many possibilities of love coming into our hearts. 

Do you think that Jesus cried when Lazarus died because He was expected to do so? No, He cried because Lazarus was Jesus’ friend and He needed him. He was touched and wounded by the death of His friend. Jesus was expressing the love and affection that was inside. 

Do you think that Jesus cried when He entered Jerusalem just because it was in the script? When something happens in our city, how do we respond? Do we cry over it? Do we cry because there is prostitution and drug addiction in our city? What kinds of hearts do we have for the people? Do we weep before God as Jesus did? 

In order to love, we must first be able to admit (even if only to ourselves) that we have a need for it. This puts us in a humble position; if we have humility then we are in a better position to receive all that God has for us. Even if we are already at this point of humility, there is always room to grow more in love. There is always one more hidden “gem” in the treasure chest of relationships that God would like to reveal to us. 

Networking 
Networking is combining our resources (time, energy, talents, etc.) with others. It is part of sharing our lives with those around us. 

Self 
When we come to know who we are in Christ, it is the beginning of our potential to love others and ourselves. Is it possible to share a part of ourselves with others without giving everything away? The answer to this lies in our relationship with God. When we give more of ourselves away, God then gives us more also more of Himself. The end result of knowing and loving ourselves first will be being able to know and love God and others even more than we did before. 

Sincerity 
Often times, we make insincere statements; our words say one thing, while our actions say another. A good example of this if we say, “Have a nice day!” with a frown on our faces. We offer someone our hand when meeting them and say, “It’s very nice to meet you” while we are looking over their shoulder. If we are not sincere then it will be very difficult to show love. It is sincerity that convinces someone of our care and concern for them. 

Sacrifice 
Sacrifice shows our commitment to someone. For example, if we have a friend that is moving, and we do not come to help, then we did not make much of a sacrifice for them. Even if we had a plausible reason for not being there, the only thing our friend may remember about it was our absence. When we are not willing to sacrifice, there is not much depth to the relationship. Sacrifice is sharing our time, energy, and resources with someone in a way that makes them feel valued and loved. It is helping when help is needed, not just when it is convenient for us. 

The driving force behind sacrifice is to value Christ more than anything else. When we recall all the sacrifices that Jesus made for us, then it is not so hard to sacrifice for someone else. We know that Jesus loves us so much because of His great sacrifice. When He died, He gave us everything He had. God asks us to die to ourselves, a little at a time. He asks us to set aside getting our own way so that someone else can benefit. Are we willing to die so that someone else can live? 

Sharing 
Sacrificing and sharing are closely linked. We need to consider what we are willing to share with each person that God brings into our lives. In order to have a deeper relationship with one another, then, we need to share of ourselves on a deeper level. Giving of my time and myself costs infinitely more than only giving of my money.